Abigail Ward is a miniature pot-bellied pig from Lancashire, UK. She began her storied career in the music industry at a mere 16 years of age, bagging a job at Andy’s Records in Preston, where she was swiftly put in charge of removing chewing gum from the shop floor. After a promising year she was unfairly sacked for ‘gross incompetence’ following an incident involving the shop’s Henry Hoover and a lot of LSD.
Undeterred, Abigail moved to Manchester in 1998 and began a seven-year stretch at the North’s biggest second-hand record shop, Vinyl Exchange, where she became world-renowned for her ability to sell Jethro Tull rarities to paedophiles. Following that came stints at soul specialists Kingbee (Chorlton) and the internationally celebrated Piccadilly Records, which lead, as these things do, to prestigious DJ residencies across the city and beyond.
Specialising in emotional musical journeys spanning rare film scores through to soulful techno, Abigail has since gigged all over the world, most notably at Longsight Launderette, Upholland’s Carmelite Convent and the Little Chef in Skipton.
Her biggest achievement came in 2015 when she staged a large-scale illegal rave, breaking into Camelot – a disused theme park in Chorley – to play a pioneering and, indeed, cochlea-shattering set of re-edited medieval laments. Thousands have since claimed to have attended, but the gig was actually only witnessed by six people and a jackdaw, all of whom have since sought psychiatric help.
Also a broadcaster of some repute, Abigail has curated sets for BBC 6 Music, Reform Radio and, briefly, NTS Live, who binned her off after three shows, stating that her microphone sound was ‘not muffled enough’.
Her most recent Manchester DJ residencies have included Cultureplex (payment in smoked almonds and dildos) and The Refuge, where joint-head honcho Luke Unabomber (Electric Chair, Homoelectric, Homobloc) described her thus:
‘She’s like a young Mancuso. Her selections are insanely magical. She’s got that thing. You can’t contrive that or buy or replicate it. It’s deeply esoteric and natural and perfectly balanced. One of the unsung heroes.’
Abigail’s all-time favourite request from a punter is ‘have you got anything a bit less harrowing?’.